Becoming a grandparent for the first time is no doubt one of life’s most precious experiences. There’s something about being a grandparent, as opposed to being a parent, that really frees you to enjoy the new baby.
Maybe it’s the rich life experience that helps you put things in perspective, or maybe it’s the fact that you don’t have the huge, daunting responsibility of actually raising the child. Whatever it is, many first-time grandparents report that the depth of emotions they have felt when becoming grandparents for the first time was just as intense as when becoming parents, but that there was a lot less stress and worry and significantly more joy.
It’s no coincidence then that as parents grow older, they often start nagging their kids about “giving them a grandchild.” While many young adults feel that it’s selfish on the part of their parents to put that kind of pressure on them, another way to look at it is that many parents are simply worried that by the time they finally become grandparents, they would be too old to enjoy their grandchild – or to be of much help to the young parents.
Indeed, as the average age for marriage slowly creeps up, so does the average age for having children. If previous generations had kids at around 20, that meant you could expect to become a grandparent around the age of 40. But today, many couples are nearly 40 when they have their first child. If their kids will do as they did, they’re not likely to see a grandchild until they’re almost 80.
While there are many advantages to delaying parenting, including emotional maturity and financial stability, the prospect of never enjoying grandparenthood is disturbing to many, simply because most of us realize that being a grandparent is lots of fun. From lavishing gorgeous baby gifts on the new mother, to helping the young parents, to spoiling the grandchildren with toys and candy – being a grandparent is truly a joyous time in one’s life.
Of course, grandparenthood has its own set of challenges too. The biggest one is probably the constant need to balance between helping the young parents, and interfering or meddling. The last thing you want to do is to give unwanted advice. Sure, you’re experienced in child rearing – after all, you’ve raised your own kids – but each generation seems to come up with its own set of parenting beliefs and rules, which are always very different than what the previous generation had done, and of course the new generation always believes they are doing it so much better – so the young parents will never listen to your “old fashioned” advice anyway. 
Another common challenge is indulging the grandchildren while respecting the parents’ boundaries. So, if the parents only allow a certain amounts of sweets, you probably want to respect that, or at least to ask the parents’ permission before handing your grandchildren an extra sweet. Same goes for gifts – many parents are trying to teach their kids responsible consumption and need to specifically ask the grandparents to limit the amount of gifts they send to the grandchildren for Christmas. Our advice to you? respect their wishes and maybe find another way to give, such as starting a savings account or donating to a worthy cause in your grandchildren’s names and giving them the certificates.
Being a grandparent is one of the most wonderful experiences that life has to offer. Enjoy every minute of it! As you know all too well, kids grow up incredibly fast.
Photo by Qole Pejorian
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